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An Everyday Feminism readers wrote me a letter urging me to end descriptor apply and refrain from using the phrase”fat” in all of my articles.

The viewer wrote:”‘ Curvy’ is for smarmy Lane Bryant clients and the discriminatory’ Real Women Have Curves ‘ ethos. All of the fat- and body-positive people who have worked so hard to get where we are are alienated by the phrase” plump.” With the writer’s authority, it was reproduced. ‘ Curvy’ is certainly empowering. It is reducing the large consumption.

I was confident that I would take this ask significantly and that I would contemplate it.

I constantly keep my promises.

The use of the expression”fat” in my private life started pretty slowly.

When I start meeting people in large advocate groups, I start using the syllable”fat” to relate to myself constantly, likely about three years ago. When I look at older blog or website comments, I find that the phrase”fat” occasionally appears.

I found myself drawn to the radical nature of the word, and I felt like it was the word that had been used most often to silence me and hurt me.

The use of the word “fat” to describe my body led to the creation of a path of transformation and embodiment.

And now the word “home” comes to mind.

So, when I received this e-mail, I couldn’t put my finger on why, at first, something didn’t feel right about the idea of a moratorium.

So I drew on this sentiment through conversations with women I know and questioned four of them about the words they preferred to use to describe their large bodies.

And this is what we came up with.

Big Beautiful Woman ( BBW)

Tigress Osborn was the first person to come to mind as I began to consider this article.

For my newest anthology, Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love, and Fashion, she wrote a chapter. She is a diversity educator, a woman of color, the founder of Full Figure Entertainment, and one of the most radically fat-positive people I have ever met.

However, she specifically explained in her chapter why she enjoys the descriptor bbw buffet website:

” I like to use the word fat because it’s political and unapologetic.” But I like BBW because it’s the term that first introduced me to the idea that fat women could consider themselves beautiful and say so with pride.

After all these years, I’ve come to accept myself in that image of big beauty rather than accept it as something other women could or never would be.

For many women, “beautiful” is a charged word.

It brings to mind oppressive ideals ( and scenes from Mean Girls ).

Many feminists ( including myself ) have a complex relationship with the B-word, but when I listen to Tigress, I recall how using that word caused me to change how I perceived both my body and myself.

In fact, the phrase” Hello, beautiful” was used by my friends and I to begin our journey toward becoming body-positive in college.

I love the way that there’s history there for Tigress, too.

Re-envisioning and putting a claim to a word that has been used to exclude so many women, especially big women, for so long has a powerful impact.

Fat

My next destination was Rachel ( also known as The Near-Sighted Owl ).

I will be meeting Rachel in a little over two weeks for the first time, but am in love with her blog, her fashion, and her brilliance.

Here’s her two cents on why she favors the f-word:

” Defining myself as fat is empowering. Fat is not a negative word to me. It’s my identity and a suitable description ( such as tall or brunette ). Not about covering it up with a pretty bow, sugarcoating, or hiding behind words like curvy or chubby.

” There is a fat movement of fantastic and inspiring women. We have fat people’s spaces, and there are fat blogs, fat activism, fat books, and literally everything you can think of.

Fat is a term used to describe feminists. It gives me strength and courage. Such a straightforward three-letter word. We have adipose tissue or fat. I love the word fat. It has been rebuilt and transformed from a insult.

We were aware of the word “fat” as children. Santa was fat, our neighbor was fat, and mom was fat, but she didn’t like using that word. As girls at school started using the word to defame their competition as we got older. It was a phrase we used to whisper when it wasn’t being hurtfully screamed. It was a dirty word.

Saying you’re fat is simply saying that you have more visible fat than a thin person does. When you believe that being fat is shameful, calling someone fat is only body shaming.

Changing your relationship to the word” fat” can be a challenge.

Fat is a word not spoken in “politicolite” company, as Rachel mentioned ( and I’m sure you know ). It’s been used for decades to scare and silence people.

The word fat is a powerful little word.

When someone tries to scare me while I’m feeling brave, when someone uses it to hurt me, and when I don’t have it in me to fight back, I can feel sexy ( when a lover whispers it in my ear ), bad-ass ( when I invoke it ), and indignant ( when someone uses it to make me feel brave ).

It took a lot of time and many re-readings of Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life before I could choose what word to use to describe my body today.

Plush

I hopped on Facebook and asked women to tell me what body descriptors they preferred and why, and my friend Elizabeth wrote that she likes plush ( or plushy ):

I adore this expression. partially because I can’t think of a single negative connotation with it.

” Plush is soft and cuddly like a plush stuffed animal. Plush is used to describe rich and elegant surroundings that are not a little overindulgent or decadent. Like plush carpet, plush is thick, thick, and comforting.

” I am a plushy girl. I am soft, cuddly, deep, comforting, sophisticated, and perhaps a little decadent.

Mmm, decadent!

Though I’ve never used the word plush to describe my body, I might need to start.

I am an unapologetic hedonist, and Elizabeth’s words resonate with a part of me that feels the need for daily servings of oysters and champagne aboard USS Plushy Pants.

Curvy

What does Chrystal of Curvy Girl Lingerie in San Jose, California love so much about that word that she decided to name her business after it? Brilliantly, she said:

I have identified as a “big girl” or “fat girl” my entire life. Since the third grade, I have been bigger than the average bear.

” I am 45 now, so I have had a long time to get used to the word fat. I find being “overweight” to be very judicious. What weight is it over?

” The word fat does not offend me anymore. However,” Fat Girl Lingerie” seemed to have the potential to offend and aggravate too many people. I think you’re really hot with me when you’re in the right romantic mood. And I even kind of really like the word’ fat’ when there is lots of love behind it.

” I just fell in love with the word when I was trying to invent the name for my store, Curvy Girl Lingerie.”

The definition of a” curve” is” a line or outline that gradually deviates from being straight for some or all of its length.” I thought that definition sounded like the perfect metaphor for what I was creating.

” Fat, voluptuous, plump, and curvy bodies “deviate” from the typical body you constantly see on the front covers of magazines or other pop media. And my store “deviates” by serving those stunning, fat, rubenesque, chunky, plump, bbw buffet website thick, phat women who are sexy and hot as hell.

” I think even if you do not have any clue what we do when you drive by my store, when you see the words ‘ Curvy Girl.’ you can see who we are and who we serve pretty clearly.

Chrystal said something that I’d never thought about: Curves are actually radical departures.

The first time I ever went into Chrystal’s shop, I felt the joy of seeing lingerie in my size and sharing physical space with other curvy women shopping for vibrators and high heels covered in cupcakes.

The word” curvy” is sexy, and it brings up all the deviant lines under my clothing.

And I can see Chrystal using this word to make room for women to feel sexy at every size.

I’m Tired of How Intolerant the Body Love Movement Is!

Or: Why Should We Make Room for” Identities Beside” Fat?

One of the fat friends who had a large bowl of spiked punch at Forbidden Island in Alameda prompted me to stop and consider my own fat positive politics in the middle of the conversation.

She said

Building my overweight identity required a lot of time and a lot of money, including time to read fat-positive blogs and books, time to spend with various fat-identified people who psychically support me, expendable income to attend conferences, graduate school, and a core belief that I can comfortably call myself overweight and act on my extreme overweight politics because I don’t rely on anyone but myself for money and I have all the emotional support I need.

I’m not saying that everyone who has spent a lot of money gets the term”fat,” but what I’m saying is that the most extreme moves frequently have a lot of benefits, including time and money.

I have grown to be so used to calling myself fat that at times I forget how radical ( and scary ) an act it really is, and fat being a word that I associate with pride and joy.

And I believe that when we leave out the most extreme speakers or the most extreme lexicon, some individuals will remain.

In terms of the e-mail, I came to the realization that a moratorium didn’t feel appropriate because it prevents me and the women I write about from coming out in ways that feel good ( and safe ) to them.

Thus, in response to your request for a embargo, I hope you’ll know that I may politely rise.

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Virgie Tovar, MA is the author of the book Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love, and Fashion and a leading author for Everyday Feminism. She resides in San Francisco. One of the world’s primary professionals and instructors on the subjects of physique photograph and large bias is Virginia. Consider her at http. virgietovar.com